Sincerely, Saskia

It is hard to go online these days and not end your session of scrolling angry, frustrated or with someone new to complain about. Last week was a fitting example of that following disappointing media coverage of the genocide in Gaza, all the Hulk Hogan apologists and Laverne Cox romanticising her long-term relationship with a blonde haired, blue eyed, MAGA supporting, republican police officer. All of which she revealed during a promotion video for her recent one woman show.

Now, for most of us, the description alone is too much to bear in the current climate, but not for Cox. In a follow up video, she could not quite grasp the magnitude of this revelation, nor understand what everyone’s anger and frustration was about. And quite frankly, that baffles me.

Cox is not only a pioneer but a pivotal figure in the trans community. She is vocal, inspirational, aspirational, and never misses a chance to speak out about the republican politics that are severely damaging and setting back the LGBTQ+ community. The increase in hate crimes, the cutting of funding… the list goes on.

Not only that, but Cox is a Black woman and officers of the law aren’t exactly prime dating material for us. Sure, it is categorically not everyone in the police force but individualism aside, the institution is broken and unwilling to see the systemic issues that plague those they have sworn to protect.

Cox – in her follow up video – made a point of talking about humanity and how we must treat everyone as human. Laverne, this man voted for your very existence to cease existing. He voted for your rights to be stripped, for your people to not be able to play on the sports team for the gender they identify as, for the funding to services that help your community to be cut, for hormones and medical care that trans people rely on to become more inaccessible, and yet, you ask your followers to think of the humanity?

Where was his humanity when he went to the polling station and voted red under a president as extreme as Donald Trump and a republican government that seems to echo his sentiment – especially when it comes to the LGBTQIA+ community? Ask yourself whether he was chanting ‘Black Lives Matter’ or ‘Blue Lives Matter’ in 2020?

I am not usually one to agree with the mob, but in this case, I find it hard to believe that she cannot understand where her supporters are coming from. I say supporters instead of followers because she is not just a celebrity but has been a beacon for the community and beyond when times have been most troubling.

It would be like if Martin Luther King Jr. joined the KKK or Ghandi suddenly gave up on peace and started blowing up schools.

This one particular piece of ‘celebrity news’ is far more than just gossip, it is a disappointing turn of events that has changed a lot of people’s minds about her, who have witnessed her journey from the beginning.

You only have to look at the comments on any of her most recent posts to see that people will not be forgetting about this so easily. And before you play the sacrificial lamb card, we all make mistakes and choices that people do not agree with. However, it is the complete lack of self awareness of how this situation would affect the public facing persona she has cultivated.

You do not have to crucify the woman or keep writing heinous things under her post, but you are allowed to be upset. The same way I was upset as a fat, Black woman — who followed Lizzo for her body positivity — when she revealed she used Ozempic. We all know not to idolise people, but I do believe the rules surrounding activists are a little different. It would be like if Martin Luther King Jr. joined the KKK or Ghandi suddenly gave up on peace and started blowing up schools.

I also cannot understand why people keep playing devil’s advocate with people who can inflict as much harm as they do by the choices they make. Trump’s second term as president has revealed an even uglier side to America, and those who proudly sport the MAGA hat are not innocents just having their opinion on politics. Their rhetoric is dangerous and the actions they are willing to take to uphold their version of ‘MERICA’ is even more so.

Maybe Cox has some insecurities that being with someone so accepted and grounded in their identity – no matter how objectionable it may be – helped heal something inside of her? Maybe she needed to get it out of her system or maybe, just maybe, love really does push people so far that they are willing to compromise on their morals.

Whatever Cox’s reasons were, if you are going to go out with someone your friends and family do not like for superficial reasons then fine, you do you. But when it comes violating the rights of whole groups of people, whether you are apart of said group or not, it is never going to be OK because what message are you sending out? Let us fight those who oppress us but also sometimes it is fine to date them? Someone whose political goal is to diminish you and the community you are apart of — absolutely f**king not.

If people can turn you down because they do not like your nose, your size or the fact that you do not know the difference between ‘there’ and ‘their’, then I think you can reject people on the basis that they do not believe in your right to exist.