Sincerely, Saskia

In case you’ve missed the news this week because you either don’t give a shit about American politics or because January has you in a chokehold of misery – and you know full well nothing in the news is going to make you feel better – Michelle Obama has been making headlines. 

No, the people’s First Lady has sadly not announced another internationally best-selling memoir (that we know of anyway), but what she has been doing is pissing off every right-wing hack on Fox News by reportedly side stepping Donald Trump’s upcoming inauguration – taking place mere days away on January 20.

Spitting in the face of bogus traditions and so-called duty, Michelle Obama – who has not been quiet about her dislike for that orange felon and the heinous things he stands for – has decided she will not be attending the event with the likes of soon to be ex-First Lady Dr Jill Biden because she’s ‘not one to plaster on a pleasant face and pretend for protocol’s sake’. 

She also gave ex-President Jimmy Carter’s funeral a miss because she was reportedly in Hawaii. Make of that what you will but the only word I have for such behaviour is ‘iconic.’ 

In the light of such reports, this is the level of ‘protecting my peace’ energy I aspire to embody, not just for 2025, but beyond.

If Michelle Obama can snub the future president of the United States on the world stage, you can give drinks with that coworker you can’t stand a miss.

They say the older you get, the less subconscious you are about how people perceive you, about saying the wrong thing or ruffling feathers in an affectionate bid to protect your own peace. Waiting until I’m older is simply not an option because, and I know I don’t only speak for myself when I say this, but I’m tired of having to put on a false smile and saying ‘I’m fine’ with things that I really could do without. 

It’s bad enough we have to exist in situations where being pleasant and putting our own needs second is required of us; whether that’s in a tedious professional setting or family engagements with family we don’t like, it’s called of us too many times.

In the past, people pleasing used to be a real issue of mine and had I been considering myself more at the time, there’s a lot of situations that wouldn’t exist in my memory. Having actively forced myself to do better with it over the years, it’s 100% not a priority anymore. However, every now and then I’ll give someone an inch, they’ll take a mile (as I could and should have predicted) and then I’m left with a little piece of my soul chipped away at when I should have done myself a solid and told them to go and fuck themselves.

Since the new year has started off with our good old pal January being more depressing than ever, and there’s no chance of picking myself up and dropping myself back in the best parts of 2024, the only thing left to do is adopt a change of perspective – and Michelle Obama’s seems like a great one to practice. I mean, let’s be real for a second, if Michelle Obama can snub the future president of the United States on the world stage days before his inauguration, then you can give drinks with that coworker you can’t stand a miss and spend your night in company you actually enjoy.

Integrity is such a lacking commodity in today’s society, especially among those we’re forced to consume more often than we’d like. That is why it’s so refreshing to see someone not pander to the will of someone they’re against simply because it’s encouraged.

Not to make it even more political than it already is but especially as a Black woman, you’re indoctrinated into believing you should be grateful to be in any room you’ve been invited into. No room perpetuates that more than the White House. Seeing her refuse to go along with it for the sake of saving face is more inspirational than she probably even meant it to be. 

Take Michelle’s actions and use them in your own everyday life. Whatever the stakes are, I know in my life they’re unlikely to be higher than those that come with raising two fingers to the soon-to-be President when you’re actually in those circles. 

Prioritise your peace and fuck the rest, I say. Whatever consequences come of that I’m sure you can face when the time comes – especially if it’s as inconsequential as cancelling plans with someone you’d rather not interact with. What’s the worst that could happen?