Sincerely, Saskia

When I think ‘Just a Girl’, I think of the sarky, 90s alt-rock hit by No Doubt that hits out at the restrictions the patriarchy imposes on girls and women and the frustration that comes with that. It’s a classic that for a lot of people is sadly still relevant today.

In case you haven’t heard it in a while, the lyrics go:

‘Cause I’m just a girl, I’d rather not be
‘Cause they won’t let me drive late at night
Oh, I’m just a girl, guess I’m some kind of freak
‘Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes
Oh, I’m just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype

Oh, I’ve had it up to here

Oh, am I making myself clear?

I’m just a girl
I’m just a girl in the world
That’s all that you’ll let me be

Now, I don’t know whether this started on Instagram – or more likely TikTok – but what I do know is that this trend, like so many of them, bothers me slightly.

Who are these videos for?

If you’ve managed to bypass the trend completely, then let me fill you in. It started around 2022 but is still as active today – I’m not just extremely late to the party.  It’s essentially videos of girls not knowing how to do things like defrost a freezer or park a car, for example, and demonstrating themselves doing it wrong. Another side of the trend sees videos of girls being quintessentially ‘girly’ – whatever that means, but there’s lots of pink in those videos.

I get it, it’s a joke. We make fun of ourselves and the stereotypes placed on us by society in ironic ways, but from what I can see, it hasn’t landed the way I think it was intended. As much as I can laugh at a few, get me in the wrong mood and my soapbox is well and truly set up.

Maybe it’s a generational thing? TikTok is largely made up of Gen Z, whereas Millennials seem to take up more space on Instagram.

Some people on TikTok seem to see it as “the best way to troll the patriarchy,” but over on IG, the reception is a little more icy.

Are we forgetting that some of the world’s most noteworthy inventions were created by women or the fact that women did have to go war?

Here are some of the comments I pulled from one video of a girl hacking away at ice in her freezer because she has no idea how to defrost it.

“Urgh I hate these ‘just a girl’ posts, as if ‘girls’ didn’t invent programming or help put men into space.”

“Stop giving our species a bad reputation please.”

“Don’t know about you but it was always my mom who organised things like defrosting the freezer. My dad can barely do a load of washing. So this ‘just a girl’ stuff is annoying as hell. 95% of all these house chores are understood and done by women.”

“Just a girl is BS. We can research things and do it.”

“I mean, YouTube has a tutorial for every damn thing in the world.”

“Stop blaming being useless on ‘being a girl’. I too am ‘just a girl’ and I’ve managed to do a shit ton of things I have no training for by using this thing called google. Try it, it’s great!”

“These types of things are reverse feminism, y’all are setting us back years.”

You get the idea.

What I’d like to know is what are these videos actually trying to say?

Similar to the memes that came out when there was talk of the UK reintroducing conscription, they all showed girls and women holding the wrong end of the gun, caring more about the guys in front of them and wondering how their make up would hold up during combat.

Are we forgetting that some of the world’s most noteworthy inventions were created by women or the fact that women did have to go war? Are we forgetting the centuries long fight for things like equal rights, being able to wear pants or get jobs?

Trends can be harmless and they don’t all need dissecting but they also have the ability to frame the way people look at certain groups.

The most confusing part is who these videos are actually for because if you head to the comments of any of these videos posted by major accounts, the ‘girls’ who should all be laughing along at the commentary and patriarchy alike, aren’t laughing at all: they’re pissed.

All of the comments above were written by women and the general consensus is, no matter how ironic or funny you’re trying to be, you’re just peddling this outdated narrative for a cheap laugh that you’re not even getting from your intended audience. You’re using the very feminist anthem that probably encouraged women back in the 90s to break away from the restrictions placed on them to symbolise what exactly?

Unlike the ‘soft life’ trend that was popularised by Black girls for very good reason, this ‘I’m just a girl’ trend doesn’t feel like it really serves any purpose. And maybe that’s OK, it’s just social media after all and we do have to work collectively to lessen the weight it carries. But when the trend seems to further perpetuate an already dangerous narrative that women are useless in matters that society would prefer we relied on men for in the first place, do we need to rethink it?

Now, it doesn’t matter that we all know this isn’t true. Sometimes when you’ve come so far in something, a joke negating or undermining your progress feels like a slap in the face, and it seems that’s how many feel about this trend. I kind of agreed at first, but after perusing through TikTok and seeing a younger generations perspective on it, I’m not sure where I stand anymore.

I definitely don’t feel as strongly as the person above who said it sets feminism back years, but being as widespread as some of these trends can be – this one has over 500 million videos – when they take on a life of their own and make it onto all of our for you pages, we have to question whether the message coming across is doing more harm than good.

Trends can be harmless and they don’t all need dissecting but they also have the ability to frame the way people look at certain groups, and when that group has already worked so hard to be seen as anything more than a fragile mind in need of nurturing by the patriarchy, are these videos a help or a hindrance?