Sincerely, Saskia

Something is in the air… but it’s definitely not love… or the desire to cuff this cuffing season.

Usually when summer ends, everyone around you suddenly goes from being happily single to being joint at the hip with their new beau. Nights out turn to nights in, ‘I’ turns into ‘we’ and your timeline is filled to the brim with dates to Winter Wonderland and Twilight movie nights.

But with the dating landscape getting progressively worse with every swipe, the prospect of cuffing has certainly lost its appeal.

I don’t know if it’s since Covid when people only had the walls to talk to but it’s almost like people don’t know how to talk to each other anymore.

It’s fucking brutal out there and neither party is making it any easier.

The so-called sea with plenty of fish has clearly suffered some kind of toxic spillage because, have you seen what’s out there?

Not looking for a relationship myself, I still like to chat to people (God knows why) and go on dates – it’s good to keep your hand in, I guess – and this summer I did just that. But the number of guys I actually went on a date with was nothing compared to the number of guys who thought it was a good idea to slide into the DMs with messages like: ‘I’d let you tie me up’ (with absolutely no context), ‘Red panty night’ (thanks Connor McGregor) or my personal favourite, ‘Yeah, you’d get it’. Thank you but I’m sure whatever it is you want to give me, I don’t want.

Every time I think my DMs are bad, all I have to do is call up a friend to be reminded that it is, in fact, all terrible. And not just for the girls, I know the gays and the guys are all suffering in the same boat.

From the socially inept suitor unable to hold a conversation that doesn’t involve his dick to the girls that complain about not having any good guys out there to then go and swipe left on someone’s profile because he’s a Scorpio.

What’s wrong with Scorpios?

I understand every party has their flaws in the way they date but I will say some of you guys could benefit from a class on how to talk to women that hasn’t come straight from the Andrew Tate playbook.

It’s fucking brutal out there and neither party is making it any easier.

The predictability of people’s profiles, the lack of chat or personality of any of kind, the constant debate over who pays the bill, matching someone just to air them (why do we do that?) – it’s all so draining. And sadly, the realities of dating are messing with the once holy single high-holiday that is – or was – cuffing season.

Cuffing season at it’s core was simply about having a familiar face to lay next to on a cold night, having someone to go and do things with you when you decide you want to be outside and to just make winter feel that little bit less depressing.  But the growing fatigue around dating has spilled over into a once simple pastime and it’s putting people off altogether.

People are bored of the dance but instead of settling for the first person who makes the whole ordeal slightly bearable, they’re instead choosing themselves and abstaining from the whole charade. I can’t even say I blame them.

Not a day goes by where a meme, article or snippet of a podcast is posted on social that isn’t flooded with comments of people saying ‘relatable’, ‘choosing me’ or retelling some dating horror story that has now made them swear off dating forever.

You can’t just cuff with anyone. It has to be someone who is on the same wavelength as you, on the same page. Someone who prefers honesty to game playing, effective communication to wasting your time in an situationship. You’d be forgiven for not even having considered shacking up with someone this season because whatever thrill that comes with spending a few months in coupledom is likely not worth the inevitable agg it takes to find the person to go there with.

If you can’t find someone you can stand to be around for the duration of a date, it’s fine to sit this season out, as the general consensus is you won’t be missing anything anyway. And for all those who are determined to brave it out down there in the trenches – Godspeed.

Cuffing season may be on hiatus for some, but there are worse things than spending a winter alone – remember that.